Twilight Chat
by The-Infamous-6
Summary: The side of messenger that you never see, the one in which most of the twilight crew are arguing and two authors from different writing styles come together to try and end the madness.
1. Sick wolfe Joke

**OK.....so I'm just gonna get it out there now...this is my first story so don't be too harsh!(If you need to be I'll understand...tee he)One of my friends seems to like this sort of thing so....I'll give it a very...VERY sad shot. I have a lucky jester hat (not sure if its lucky yet) that i got yesterday (that's why i don't know)**

**Note:SORRY IF ITS TOO LONG!!!!!!**

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J_Boy has just signed in

j_boy:Hello? anyone? damnit! i'm always alone!!!

belz has just signed in

belz:umm.....ok should i leave?

j_boy: NO BELLA DON'T LEAVE ME ALL ALONEEEEEE! I hate being a loner):

belz:umm....right.

Rosie has just signed in

rosie: shouldn't you be used to it dog boy?

j_boy: Umm its J_BOY to you Thorn!

rosie:Thorn?What the hell does THAT mean?

belz:K is that some sort of cheezy joke? No seriously i'm literally confused..

j_boy:nevermind......i think i'm just gonna leave now.

rosie:either you leave, or i will

j_boy: ok.....

*5 MINUTES LATER*

rosie: well are you gonna leave?

j_boy: i was waiting to see if you would, since it would really help if you just left me and bella alone

rosie: i should really tell ed about all this crap!

belz:what? what crap? what are we talking about?!

j_boy: just stay out of this bella!

belz: i already was out of it and I WANT IN!

rosie: you don't need to be the centre of attention all the time you know bella. and you REALLY need to stop butting in!

belz:ok well, i'm sick of all this...this.....IM LEAVING!

j_boy: WAIT! DON'T LEAVE ME HERE WITH THIS-

belz has signed out

j_boy: -blonde.

rosie: alright, you know what!

rosie: I'm gone!

j_boy: great. now we can finally have some piece around here!

rosie: UGHHHHHH!

rosie has signed out

j_boy: she so wants me

k.a.t.i.e. has just signed in

k.a.t.i.e.: ok, WHO wants you?!

j_boy: oh...no one

k.a.t.i.e.:Jacob....I DESERVE to know who you're going to try and tame

j_boy: is that some kind of sick wolfe joke?

k.a.t.i.e.: no...but it is a kind of funny wolfe joke(:

j_boy: alright, fair enough. Hey, who are you anyways?

k.a.t.i.e.: I am the hairdresser from the planet of the munchkins.

j_boy: REALLY?!

k.a.t.i.e.:...no......

j_boy: aww why'd you do that? I was so happy, then you just HAD to crush my dreams!

k.a.t.i.e.: I didn't HAVE to, i just WANTED to.

j_boy: what kind of sick person are you?

k.a.t.i.e.: one of the best.

j_boy:what a creep......

k.a.t.i.e.:has just signed out

j_boy:who was that girl anyways?

j_boy: oh well, at least she doesn't know how much i know rose wants me.

k.a.t.i.e.:dude, i never signed out. LOOK CLOSELY NEXT TIME! oh, and though i do like watching you talk to yourself, i really need to go now.

k.a.t.i.e.:nice talking to ya, wolfe boy.

j_boy: I WILL FIND YOU! I WILL KILL YOUR CHILDREN AND THEIR CHILDREN AND THOSE PEOPLES CHILDREN AND SO ON!

k.a.t.i.e.: hold up. if you kill my children, how can they even have children to kill?

j_boy: you make a pretty good point. Ok, I'll wait until your children are really old and have popped out a few kids then-

k.a.t.i.e.:OH GOD I'M LEAVING!

k.a.t.i.e. has just signed out

j_boy: -take a break......

belz has just signed in

edward has just signed in

the-infamous-6 has just signed in

belz:hey jake...sorry about leaving earlier...i was just really confused and slightly aggitated.

j_boy: its alright...just don't leave me with blondie again...

edward:well well, if it isnt the infamous jacob black.

the-infamous-6: HEY DON'T YOU BE TAKIN MY WORDS NOW GOLD EYES!

edward: wow....wow that wasn't a good comback. in fact, it wasn't EVEN a comeback at all.

belz: no...no it wasn't.

the-infamous-6: OH SHUT UP!

belz: whoaa, chill out.

edward: yea infamous. it was just a...uhh....

j_boy: sentence?

edward: yea, no more input from you ok wolfe boy?

j_boy: WELL I AUGHTA-

the-infamous: WILL YOU ALL SHUT UPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*awkward silence*

the-infamous-6: ok, well what i was actually meaning by "shut up" was, well i was meaning it in a joking way ok? theres really no way to show how you personally feel on this chat crap!

j_boy: well, if you really think its crap, howz bout you leave me and -of-himself to finish our buissness?

the-infamous-6: alright. but if i go, nothing will happen. nothing at all.

j_boy: exactly my point. so get goin!

the-infamous-6: thats not what i.....you know what? forget it...see you guys later.

the-infamous-6 has just signed out

*5 minutes later*

j_boy: wow...infamous was right...nothing did happen.

belz has just signed out

edward has just signed out

j_boy: aww crap im alone again!

j_boy has just signed out

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Thanks to SilverGoldSun - Night. And. Day (A.K.A "K.a.t.i.e") for giving me full rights to use her in my story (ASK HER IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME SHE REALLY DID RIGHT BEFORE SHE WAS ABOUT TO EAT DINNER)


	2. Dude from the Hood

**Continuing on.....**

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Belz has just signed in

j_boy has just signed in

jazz has just signed in

Belz: Jazz?

jazz: yes?

belz: no, I mean, what's with the name?

jazz: What, don't you like?

belz: don't i _like?_

j_boy: hey, did everyone forget about a certain wolfe around here?

belz: sorry jake, just didn't realise that you were......hey, shouldn't your name be j__wolfe?_

j_boy: what are you, drugged!? If I put that as my sign in name, then all of my other "normal" friends would start...getting ideas....

belz: I don't get what you're saying, but anyways I gotta go. Talk to you all later.

jazz: latez homie B!

belz: yea....ok then.

Belz has just signed out

jazz: so, its just you and me wolfe boy

j_boy: don't push me, mr. mood swings

jazz: hey hey! don't get all jizzy with me man! I was just sayin it as it is....mr._mood swings?! _

j_boy: I seriously think you should see a doctor... someone who would know what to do with you.

jazz: whats dat supposed to mean, _dog breath?_

j_boy: alright, you're taking this a little too far, _man eater._

jazz: hey man, that hurt....I think you should see a doctor to handle those heavy feelings...might I suggest,....hmm..who handles feelings....?

j_boy: YOU DO YOU IDIOT! and _I _need to see a doctor? How about you?!

jazz: Look man, I could waste an entire day chattin with ya, but sadly, unlike you, I have a life that can't be wasted on people as ugly as you. Oh, and if you _ever_ want anyone to be impressed by you, you should shave off some of that fur. And just before I leave, you should probably get a trainer. So that you will at least be a little less forceful when you see someone. I know _I_ found it strange when you ran towards me and put your hands on my leg. Oh, and you started panting, but I slightly ignored that.

j_boy: OK, NOW YOU'RE A DEAD MAN JAZZ!

jazz: I already am.

j_boy: wow.......wow. That just, really, ruined my day. I'm gonna go now...

jazz: Ok, but don't do it on esme's rose bush.

j_boy: THAT WAS JUST MEAN!

jazz: Look, I can only calm you down so much in one day. And, boy, have I overdone it today on you. If anyone decides to get suicidal and jumps off a bridge, and I'm too tired to change their mind, you can thank yourself!

j_boy: Hey, didn't you have to go?

jazz: Well, I know I did at some point in my life. I think the last time I did was....hmmmm....maybe just before the 20th century.

j_boy: IM NOT TALKING ABOUT NEEDING TO GO TO THE BATHROOM! I MEAN DIDN'T YOU NEED TO LEAVE!?!

jazz: Oh, yes I did. But the reason was beacuse a guy was about to jump off a cliff...although, because you kept on getting mad at me, I was distracted and wasted all of my energy on you. Now that guys probably hurled himself over the cliff to his death, all because you got a little mad.

j_boy: Who wouldn't when you're acting so strange?! One minute you're acting like some "dude from the hood", next you're dissing me up!

jazz: Ya well, you know, I am _mr. mood swings_.....

j_boy:.......

jazz: Well, I do need to head out now, I'm really sick of talking to a dog.

j_boy: OK THATS IT YOU'RE GOING TO GET A BEATING AS SOON AS I GET OVER-

jazz has signed out

j_boy: -there.....

*10 minutes later*

j_boy: CUZ I'M ALL ALONE! THERES NO ONE HERE BESIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDE MEEEEEEEEEE! But ya gotta have frieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeends....

the-infamous-6 has just signed in

the-infamous-6: Alright, I really didn't need to hear that....

j_boy: why are you here again?

the-infamous-6: hello, _author _speaking!

j_boy: true.

the-infamous-6: so, I received this _anonymous _tip from someone that they thought your name should be changed...

j_boy: You wouldn't dare!

the-infamous-6: Oh, you don't know what I can do.....

j_fizzle_wolfe-boy: OK, What's with the name?

the-infamous-6: well, the _anonymous _person was pretty specific on what name they wanted you to have, so....well...it doesn't get any more specific than that.

j_fizzle_wolfe-boy: Well, whoever that was, THEY CAN SHOVE IT!

the-infamous-6: And, its that kind of talk, that says "You're keeping your name, and I'm leaving"

j_fizzle_wolfe-boy: No....WAIT! Don't LEAVE ME WITH THIS NAME!!

the-infamous-6 has just signed out

j_fizzle_wolfe-boy: Damnit.

j_fizzle_wolfe-boy has just signed out.

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**Thanks to Teegh and Bradey for inspiration on diss ideas! Next chapter comming soon!(:**


	3. Some Puddle to Roll In

**sorry for not making another chapter in forever! School's been giving us a crap load of work, and, well, I have friends that get very bored.....a lot. Oh, and my hat; not that lucky.**

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j_fizzle_wolfe_boy has just signed in.

j_fizzle_wolfe_boy: OK.... Something's gotta be up. I'm _always_ alone when I sign in. What? Do I smell?

rosie has just signed in.

rosie: yes, yes you do.

j_fizzle_wolfe_boy: Oh great. The blonde's back.

rosie: Hey, someone with _that _kind of name really shouldn't even try to make a comeback.

j_fizzle_wolfe_boy: Oh god! I forgot about the name! My normal friend _and _my wolfe friends are gonna kick my butt for having this name!!!

rosie: Ya.....about that......

jazz has just signed in.

j_fizzle_wolfe_boy: say jazz, do you happen to know a certain man-eater who would want my name changed?

jazz: I believe I have no idea what you're talking about.

j_fizzle_wolfe_boy: yea....sure.

jazz: nice name.

j_fizzle_wolfe_boy: Don't start with me Mr. mood swings.

jazz: you used that one yesterday.

j_fizzle_wolfe_boy: Man why are you always there to put me down like that?

jazz: like you said, I'm swings. I kind of have the power to do that.

j_fizzle_wolfe_boy: wow........yea...I'm just gonna leave you with the ditz ok?

rosie: you better not be talking about me....

j_fizzle_wolfe_boy: just so you know, I am.

j_fizzle_wolfe_boy has just signed out.

rosie: so, jazz, we're all alone now.

jazz: yea, so whatcha wanna talk about?

rosie: how about we go out later? we can catch a movie.....come back.....play a game.....

jazz: OMG! How did you know that that was what I wanted to do!

rosie: girls intuition.

jazz: so, OMG we totally need to get UP! It's like the best movie ever! Like that old dude is the best guy ever! Oh, and can we take the taxi back this time? I always think they're fun to take and its been almost fifty years since we last took one! Now about the game....I hope you won't say you're mad when i tell you that I still have our unfinished battleship game in my closet from.....I guess it was around 1920.

rosie: You never satisfy _my_ needs!!

jazz: what?

rosie: You know that ever since Edward and Bella had Rennesme I've been acting like Auntie, But I wanna be a mom!! I don't _care_ if it is impossible, I want a child!

jazz: oh.....oh. that's what you meant by games.....

rosie: No Duh!

jazz: well, rose, you and i both know that its impossible to have a kid.

rosie: But I can hope can't I?!

jazz: well......no.

rosie: I need a man who can satisfy my needs and can at least have confidence in me! I think we need a break for a while!!

jazz: well, alright?

rosie: Wow....I feel.....suddenly calm....Jazz don't do that! We are having a fight mister, No weaseling out of this one!

jazz: what? wheres a weasel? I could use some dinner.....

rosie: You know what I'm talking about smart guy!

jazz: Edwards the smart guy, I just glare at people and make them feel happy.

rosie: Ugh I can't deal with this!! Bye Jazz!

rosie has just signed out.

jazz: well, _ok_ then.

bellz has just signed in.

bellz: hey jazz, i heard rose slam the door downstairs, whats up?

jazz: best to leave her alone for a while, she wants us to have a break.

bellz: oh........I'm so sorry!

jazz: don't worry, I'm giving her grief right now so she'll be back by noon tomorrow. Besides, I know where she goes when she gets peeved.

bellz: where?

edd has just signed in.

jazz:oh, don't worry about it......

edd: she goes shopping.......and jazz, she'll probably be back within a week. I heard there's a huge sale going on somewhere in eastern NY.....and knowing rose, well.......she'll be there for all the time that sale is going on.....

jazz: Dammit Edward!! Butt out sometimes ok!

edd: well well, looks like someone needs to use their own powers on themselves.

jazz: Don't you start calling me Mr. mood swings now too!

edd: what the.......?

bellz: don't even ask.

edd: ok?

edd: I think I'm just gonna....go now.....see you later bellz...

bellz: I better go too, I can hear Rennesme crying. bye jazz.

jazz: yea, bye.

edd has just signed out.

bellz has just signed out.

jazz: Because I'm All Alone There's No One Here Beside Meeeeee!!!!

j_fizzle_wolfe_boy has just signed in.

j_fizzle_wolfe_boy: dude, that's so my line.....

jazz: k can you just go find some puddle to roll in, I'm not in a mood to babysit puppies.

j_fizzle_wolfe_boy: dude, that hurt.

jazz: what's with you and saying dude?

j_fizzle_wolfe_boy: what was with you yesterday?

jazz: I don't know.......

*AWKWARD SILENCE!*

the-infamous-6: Well well, if it isn't the fighting brothers!

jazz: Don't You Dare Call Us Brothers! Not Even Acquaintances!

j_fizzle_wolfe_boy: hey, I thought we were friends.

jazz: no, we're buddies with _benefits._

j_fizzle_wolfe_boy: Oh, and that wasn't supposed to hurt at all.

the-infamous-6: cuz when i leave for the night, i ain't commin' back!

jazz: what?

the-infamous-6: don't stop, make it rock, DJ blow my speakers up tonight.....tick tock on the clock but the party don't stop no, woo opp woo opp wooo!

j_fizzle_wolfe_boy: Ok, what is this, Karaoke Idol?

the-infamous-6: Totally Should Be!

jazz: OMG Are You Listening To Tick Tock!

the-infamous-6: OMGOMGOMG Yes!!

jazz: Oh Em Gee! I totally love that song!

j_fizzle_wolfe_boy: Ok, who turned you into gay guy?

jazz: hey, I'm not gay for liking Kesha!

j_fizzle_wolfe_boy: No the party don't stop till i walk in!

jazz: Yes He's one of us now!

the-infamous-6: You'll Never Leave The World Of Karaoke Singers Once You Enter!

jazz: Yess......sing with us......join the Kesha fan club with us.......oh, and don't look behind you...

j_fizzle_wolfe_boy: Hey little sista....!!! Oh.....alrighty then...what's behind me?

jazz: No Don't!

j_fizzle_wolfe_boy: You put a radio behind me playing "White wedding"?

jazz: Yes....hence: the reason why we said Don't Turn Around!

the-infamous-6: Yea....you know how addictive 99.9 is!

j_fizzle_wolfe_boy: Ok, so 99.9 somehow enslaved us all to be crazed karaoke singers for about five minutes, then when I turned around it all of a sudden stopped?

jazz: yup

the-infamous-6: pretty much it.

j_fizzle_wolfe_boy: Ok....I'm just...gonna go now.....hope you guys have fun in therapy....

jazz: what was that last part?

j_fizzle_wolfe_boy: Nothing!

the-infamous-6: Say...I got an idea......

j_fizzle_wolfe_boy:What?

jazz: yea infamous...what?

fat-noob-boy: oh, really funny.

the-infamous-6: E-verybody move! Get up and dance G-Get up and dance!

jazz: alright...I was just following along earlier....but now I seriously don't know what's with her....Lmfaoo nice name Jake! err....fat noob boy!

fat-noob-boy: shut up. I'm leaving....

jazz: right behind ya.....

the-infamous-6: SO NO, NOBODY STOP E-VERY BODY MOVE, GET UP AND DANCE G-GETUP AND DANCE MOVE YOUR BODY B-B-BODY!

jazz has just signed out

fat-noob-boy has just signed out.

the-infamous-6: LISTEN TO ME SINGING LIKE A LUNATIC I ROCK YOUR SOCKS OFF DON'T I?! SAY YES OR EVIL PIRHANAS WILL EAT YOUR TELEVISION AND WILL THROW YOUR COMPUTER IN THE TRASH!

**

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**

**Thanks to 99.9 for playing sick music. FYI: They really don't enslave you all to be crazed karaoke singers, they just play addictive music, as all! Oh, and for those who have "Broad minds", There is no such thing as evil pirhanas that eat televisions, and they definitely don't trash computers! Though that would be pretty sweet...**


End file.
